Oftentimes during courtship, ladies try too hard to please, they try too hard to please the man and his extended family and most times, they are taken for granted. Maybe once in a while we should ask ourselves if we are courting or auditioning for a role in a Hollywood movie. Here's a real life story I found on Nora's page, and I thought to share; many "fiancees" could learn something from this lady.
She is Igbo, engaged to a Yoruba guy. The major problem her would be in-laws have with her , from the side talks she heard is that she is from a wealthy family. That a girl from a wealthy family will not be well domesticated and so will not be able to take care of their son.
Anyways, one weekend, her fiancé took her his village, to officially introduce her to his mother. After some minutes that her would be mother in-law welcomed and encouraged her to feel at home; mama gently called her to the back yard.
When she got to the backyard, mama requested that she helps her wash the cloths soaked in a bucket and she started washing the cloths without saying one word.
Her reason is that she loves her fiancé and to her; she considered his mother as her own mother, and based in this principle, she won't mind washing her own mother's cloths.
After she finished the washing, they all went to visit her husband's Aunty. This Aunty is her would be mother in-law's elder sister, she is married and lives in the neighbouring village.
Upon their arrival, Aunty excitedly received them. She ran to the kitchen and started preparing food for them. About half an hour into the food preparation, Aunty started calling out for Iyawo (New Wife), which is her.
She went to answer Aunty in her kitchen, when she got there she saw Aunty transferring yam from the cooking pot to mortar. Aunty was like abeg(Please) Iyawo, oya(quickly) help me pound the yam and she politely told Aunty no. That even in her father's house, she does not pound yam and simply walked back to the living room where her husband was.
Aunty was furious, followed her to the living room and started ranting. She even threatened her with we won't marry again, and that was when she turned to her fiancé and to ask if he wants them to do the break up there and then.
Her fiancé begged her, and told his Aunty point blank right there that he did not bring his babe to her house to pound yam for her.
Aunty and some of other family members, who she told about the incident started kicking against their son marrying her.
The moral of this story is don't start what you cannot finish. There is no way everyone in a man's family will love and accept you and that's ok.
But as a woman, you don't have to cross seven mountains, just to fetch water from Imo River when you are entering a man's family because you want to be liked.
I know a babe, for some reason, her mother in-law prefers her sister in law. This sister's in law is married to her favourite son, let's say she transferred that favouritism love to his wife. This sister in law can never do wrong in her mother in-law's eyes. She can stay from January to December without calling her ; but even while this lady , let's say, is spoon feeding the her mother in law ; the woman will be like : oh I miss Angelina my daughter in law so much. Angelina is an angel??
The lady though with difficulty , have somehow accepted this; she has come told herself that she will do whatever she can for her not because she wants to be liked but because she is her husband's mother.
Women, when you are at the meet the in-laws stage in your relationship, be yourself. Don't start what you cannot finish.
By: Oma Nora Patrick.